Family Briefs

For some reason when a child is younger than 9 months of age, I feel an “extra” connectedness with them. They are at a point where I have carried them inside of me for longer than they have been outside of me. Weird, I know. I’ve felt it with all four of mine - it’s an unspoken 9-month milestone for me. This month, I’m finding myself at the “9-month milestone” and struggling with the reality that it’s the last one.

Our fourth child has been our most difficult infant, and there were many days along this journey of infancy that I thought we’d never get through it. And while the days often drag by like an eternity during the first 9 months with a newborn, in retrospect, it all goes by at lightening speed!

Milestones are exciting, and we are often quick to hurry our children to the next milestone. We want them to hurry up and learn to sit on their own and become less dependent on being held. We want them to hurry up and talk so we can better understand what they want. We want them to hurry up and learn to dress themselves to make our morning rush less hectic. We want them to hurry up and learn to swing so we don’t always have to push them at the playground.

Here, at the last “9-month milestone,” I find myself wondering, “what’s the rush?” All of childhood goes by in the blink of an eye (you know, we’ve all heard our elders say this) - it’s just 18 years out of a lifetime! Why don’t we savor every moment?

I know for me, it’s hard to savor the unpleasant moments . . . the aching arms because the baby cries unless she’s being held . . . the temper tantrums because he can’t communicate what he wants . . . the extra planning it takes to get everyone ready in time for preschool . . . the energy it takes to push her on the swing when we’d rather talk with the other mommies.

Perhaps instead of focusing on where I wish we were, I should reflect more on where we are. We are at a place where this baby needs to be held a lot - and I won’t get to do this much longer. We are at a place where speech and expression are just beginning to bud - and before long, I won’t be able to get them to STOP talking. We are at a place where I get to help them dress - and can tickle them along the way. We are at a place where I can push them on the swing - and join them as they imagine they are a bird flying high over the trees.

I think focusing more on where we are will require me to be more present in the moment - not thinking ahead to how many things on my “to-do” list need to be done today! Now, I’m not saying I’m going to throw my list out the window or stop prioritizing what I need to do! I’m just going to try to savor all the moments and milestones as they come and stop hurrying them along to the next one.

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