). Yes, I often fear the teenage years for a multitude of reasons.
But what about today? What do I do with my 7-year-old who tends to ignore me or is so easily distracted that he NEVER does what I ask. I realize using the word “NEVER” is really unfair here, but that’s just how I’m feeling tonight.
Here’s the scene: I make eye contact. I say to my 7-year-old son who has just come in from Tae Kwon Do, “I’m struggling to get dinner fixed and your siblings haven’t been making things any easier. Please put on some chap-stick, change out of your uniform, and finish your homework.”
As all good parenting advice would suggest, I had him repeat these back to me - a good thing too, because he only remembered two of the three things! So, I refresh his memory (still making eye contact) and have him repeat these back to me. He’s got it and I feel refreshed knowing that he’s going to get busy and stay out of trouble so I can get supper on the table.
WRONG!!! His dad walks into the living room - NOT 5 SECONDS LATER and my son is sitting gazing into the fish tank!!!!! Granted, he’s not causing trouble, but HE’S NOT DOING WHAT I ASKED EITHER!!!!!
I thought I followed great parenting directions, but I am thwarted, nonetheless! The consequence was not being able to eat dinner until he had finished doing what I had asked, which really wasn’t any big deal (since dinner was late anyway, thanks to the other 3 monkeys in the house 
). Sometimes parenting is so frustrating - don’t you agree? So I ask you, what do I do about these kinds of situations?
Works for me Wednesday is backwards today over at Rocks In My Dryer, so if you’d like to help some other poor souls like me, head on over to Shannon’s!
October 2nd, 2007 at 10:46 pm
I know this would take some time, but what about jotting them down (in just a few words, if he is not a strong reader yet) on a piece of paper to take with him as a reminder?
Just a thought!
I’m not really full of ideas, as my 8 year old often has to be reminded many, many times of things. But, he is Autistic and on meds for focusing issues, so I’m just used to lots of reminders, and only giving one direction at a time. Like, with your example, I would have only told him to put on chapstick (this is with *my* son), and then I would keep an eye on him for when he is done, and then tell him the next thing. That’s just what works for us. (But we also have an open concept house, so it’s easier to keep an eye on him.)
October 2nd, 2007 at 10:56 pm
I was going to suggest what Angie did — maybe just one instruction at a time.
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:45 am
http://mycrayonbox.blogspot.com/2007/08/wfmw-getting-kids-and-adults-to-focus.html
Daily warm up exercises called the Brain Dance have really helped my students to focus and listen better. Read more at the link above. We do the exercises about 4 times a week and the kids ask for them when they are getting distracted or overworked.
October 3rd, 2007 at 9:40 am
Oh, we have this situation at home too. My son will listen, understand and start to follow directions, but will get sidetracked by something - even if it’s just in his head! He’s not a disobedient person, his heart wants to be right, but as he says, “I just forget!”
When relating this scenario to another mom, she suggested that my son take Omega-3 Fish Oil. She said helps to give the kids focus and better remembering skills. So we’ve been doing it for about two weeks now (intermittently because I’VE forgotten to give him his pill!), and we’re seeing a difference in his focusing/remembering/obeying. School behavior/production is getting better too.
There is an Omega -3 for kids, but I’ve just been giving him a regular Fish Oil (coated to keep the smell encased).
October 3rd, 2007 at 9:41 am
We have the same problem with our 8 yr old. He is so easily distracted that even one instruction at a time is hard for him. We have to remind him often of things we ask him to do, even if he can repeat them to us. Perhaps this will work for you as well? Good luck!
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:14 pm
That is exactly what my seven-year-old boy does. I think it’s just a seven-year-old thing, or maybe it’s a boy thing, or maybe it’s just a kid thing, but it so SO frustrating. If I make a list for my son it makes it a lot easier for him to remember to do things. If he starts getting sidetracked (watching TV, playing with the dog, starting at the wall, etc.) I set a timer and tell him if he doesn’t do what he’s asked by the time it goes off then he loses something, either a privilege or a toy. That usually gets him moving.
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:53 pm
It can be exhausting but I do exactly what Dawn (above) does for my 7 YO. He actually did better with focusing a few years ago! Now I have to use timers, and constantly remind. Then I have to give him wins…meaning, noticing when he does something (ANYthing) right and making a big deal about it. That way he doesn’t feel like I’m constantly berating him. It takes a bit of effort, but I’m praying that it pays off in the long run.