Family Briefs

When I was given the opportunity to participate in a blog tour for the book, You’re Not the Boss of Me by Betsy Brown Braun, I was immediately interested.  The subtitle, “Brat-proofing your 4- to 12-year-old child” screamed out for me to jump in - with four kids, aged 3, 5, 7, and 10, I SO needed to read this book.   My 10-year-old thinks he knows more than God, and I’ve renamed my 3-year-old “Sassafras” because of her persistent sassy-ness!

Betsy Brown Braun offers pages of thoughtful parenting advice in easy-to-understand parenting language.  What she says really makes sense for the parenting issues we each face.   She begins with instructions on how to use the book (which I LOVE):  “begin with the chapter whose subject matter interests you the most . . . read the chapter, absorb the information . . . .work on that one trait until you feel comfortable  with the suggested techniques . . . you just can’t rush the parenting process, nor can you master it all in one sitting.”

I think we often read through parenting books, grabbing at whatever little tidbits we can to try to implement everything into our parenting to immediately make things better.  We become overwhelmed and frustrated.   When the newly-learned parenting techniques don’t work, we toss up our hands at “another failed attempt.”  Braun is wise to offer this advice in the preface to her book.

Each chapter begins with no-nonsense information about the particular skill you want to work on (empathy, responsibility, honesty, respect, etc.), including how children develop around this skill.  Then you’ll find a list of “Tips and Scripts” for working on a particular skill.    I LOVE this “quick reference” part of her book.  I can go back and remind myself of something with just the bold print of each tip or find the tip I need to work on and read the short paragraph relating to that specific tip.

For example, the chapter on respect (the chapter I started with)  includes tips and scripts such as:

• Substitute the word “respectful” for the word “appropriate”
• Allow your child to disagree with you
• Respond to rule- and limit- breaking calmly but with authority
• Saying nothing can be a powerful response
• Speak to the behavior, not the child
• and many more!

I have a feeling I will keep this book on my nightstand and refer to it on a daily basis!  There are so many realistic ideas and suggestions that it should be easy to find something that works for each of my four children, even Ms. Sassafras!

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of HarperCollins and received a copy of You’re Not the Boss of Me to facilitate my review. Mom Central also sent me a gift certificate to thank me for taking the time to participate.

I always have great intentions to do all these wonderful Easter crafts with my children . . . and then reality hits me like a ton of bricks.  Not sure why this time of year things get crazy - it’s like Spring makes everyone want to schedule everything now before the end of the school year.

There might be hope for me yet this year!  I came across this little gem which offers several EASY options for fun, kid-friendly Easter projects that I already have items on hand for.  And any project that saves me a trip to Wal-Mart is a project worth doing!

So head over to Kids Craft Weekly and subscribe to her newsletter - then you can be crafty all the time!

We just got back from a whirlwind Spring Break road trip.  We stayed in New Orleans for a couple of days, drove on San Antonio, TX,  for six days, then headed back to New Orleans for an overnight stay, then back home.  Whew!  Where was the vacation???

If my husband had his druthers, we’d drive straight through and everyone just pee in a cup when needed.  Fortunately, my mother was along with us, so we got to stop every two-three hours.

While hubby gasses up the van, we back up the line to the restrooms.  While we’re standing there, the kids get the gimmies - they eyeball all the yummies surrounding them in the “quick mart.”   That’s why I keep a good supply of snacks in the car - makes it easier to say no.  It doesn’t reduce the whining, but I feel less guilt feeding them something!

A few years ago, I chose a kid-size shoe box with Buzz Lightyear on it to be our snack box.  Crackers and goldfish got smushed in a bag - how is it that everything on a trip eventually makes its way to the floor?  Anyhow, in a box the snacks remain in tact.  I choose from our variety of snacks at home and shove as many of them in the box as I can, knowing already that not everyone will be happy and whatever I choose, will not be fair to someone.  Who cares, right?

So when there get to be too many “he touched me’s,” “she’s leaning on me,” and “he’s breathing,” comments, I whip out the snacks.  Hubby was especially happy this time ’cause the guys at Jerky.com sent us some Spencer’s Beef Jerky samples to try out.  They have a couple of new flavors - Orange and Mango.  Both were labeled as “Sweet and spicy,” and I was only stupid brave enough to try a small bite of the Mango flavor.  Husband LOVED them.  Me?  Flavor was good, texture was good,  and the after-burner stayed with me through most of Texas.   Their beef jerky really is good . . . I just think I like the pineapple better :)  .  If you want to hear more about what my husband thought of the jerky, you can hear his upcoming podcast on the subject at Southeastern Backpackers.

So pack a snack box on your next trip.  When the kids start whining, you can tell them to “stuff it!”  Then head on over to We Are That Family for more Works For Me ideas!

I hate clearing books off the kids’ shelves, I mean they’re BOOKS!  You don’t throw out things that are GOOD for you, do you?  But the truth is, we simply have too many (’course, we have “too many” of a LOT of things).  Now that the youngest is 3, there are several books we can pass along to the library, other children we know, charitable organizations, or sell at the local consignment store.  It’s still hard to part with them . . . .

. . . but when I stumbled across this, my guilt went away!

From Unclutterer:

“My wife and I recently discovered the website One More Story. It is a great way to supplement your child’s book collection while increasing her reading comprehension and basic computing skills. The site has the equivalent of books on tape with highlighted words. The site also includes illustrations, sound effects, and music with certain stories. A demonstration is available for preview. “

They offer a number of ways to use their online library, and the annual subscription rate is only $44 - I spent more than that at the last school book fair!  And this website won’t clutter my house at all.  Check it out!

Sometimes I give myself a hard time.  You see, ultimately I’m lazy.  There!  I said it.  Out loud.  Where others could hear it.  If I toss a piece of paper in the trashcan and it misses . . . I leave it if I’m in a hurry.  If the toilet paper roll runs out just before I’m crawling into bed at midnight . . . I let it wait until morning.

I don’t know if it’s having to prepare 80+ Valentines for school parties, washing a minimum of 3 outfits per day for my 3-year-old, or the not-so-simple act of just getting through the day sometimes  that makes me so completely tired.  I become lazy.

So every now and then, I have to try to outsmart myself so that things actually get done.  Without the intervention of others.   I’m lazy about my soap.  You know, you’re washing your hands and the soft soap squirter just kinda “farts” in your hand with that last little bit?  Well, I don’t have time to do anything about it now, so I’ll do it later (there’s that lazy side of me).  When, exactly, does later arrive?  I’ll let that soap dispenser “fart” in my hand several more times before I actually GO TO THE OTHER END OF THE HOUSE AND GET THE SOAP REFILL BOTTLE AND FILL THE THING UP!!!!!

So, I’ve purchased soap refills and placed under each sink in the house.    Whenever I clean a sink, guess what?  I go ahead and refill the soap dispenser.  I mean, I have the time right?   Not to mention saving a trip ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER END OF THE HOUSE  (a whole 25 feet away, mind you).

Like I said, I’m lazy.    But having the soap on hand with an easy refill system, means I can keep on being lazy and everyone can still wash their hands. Now, you don’t be lazy and head over here to find other great Works for Me Wednesday ideas!

When I was pregnant with our 4th and lounging the summer away at the water park trying to stay cool, another mom of four welcomed me to the “freaky four club.” We discussed how people think you’re weird for having four kids, you know, ‘cuz two is normal.

Yes, we get weird looks and see people counting and wondering if they are all ours. Lots of comments about “how do you do it?” and “I can barely manage the two we have” and “do you know how this keeps happening?” Yes. We’re freaks, but we’re happy freaks.

Fortunately, I haven’t had anyone tease us about our choices in extracurricular activities - for example, not signing our kids up for soccer or t-ball. We pretty much stick to TaeKwonDo, ballet, scouts, and church. Many days, I think that’s too much. Poor Jane (not her real name) apparently gets mocked more than we do because she can’t even use her real name in a blog about their family’s choice to limit their activities!

We’ve opted out of sports because they require practice during the week and a game on Saturday (and God forbid, you sign up for traveling soccer and have to drive two hours just to get to a game!). We love TaeKwonDo for the self control and discipline emphasis, ballet because . . . . well because we have girly girls, scouts for all the God and country emphasis along with all the neat stuff you learn, and church to keep us a little grounded. I mean, really, that’s enough - isn’t it?

So for all of you families out there that are running around from one activity to the next and wondering why you can’t finish your homework, and think we’re weird? I think you’re crazy! And Jane probably does too :).

When I was a little girl, I drove my mother nuts by rearranging my room every week or so. I wasn’t trying to bug her; instead I was seeking some sense of “newness” in my life.

‘Course I didn’t figure that out until MUCH later! Later, as in after you’ve run up all your credit cards buying “new” stuff ’cause you’re out on your own and have the freedom to go do stupid things like buy everything you want . . . on credit.

So thanks to credit card debt, I’m now frugal (that’s my silver lining and I’m stickin’ to it!). So my frugal tip for this week is to stay home and rearrange your stuff, re-purpose something you already have, or use paint to freshen up a space.

Maybe you remember from this post where I mentioned re-sizing and painting an unused drapery rod to hang the odd-sized valance in my daughters’ room? That same weekend, I was on a high rearranging items and finding things around the house to use in spaces where I thought I needed to buy something new. It’s really that “high” feeling I get from seeing things look different - making it look new - that I crave. It’s really not the purchasing (well, I like buying new stuff, but this is supposed to be a post about frugality, for heaven’s sake).

To get some good ideas about rearranging and re-purposing items, check out the Decorating Cents show on the HGTV network. They have a whole segment on the show dedicated to a free room makeover - just rearranging and using stuff you already have! Very inspirational!

So that’s my Frugal Friday . . . what’s yours? Check out LifeasMom for more frugal ideas!

One day in the midst of feeling overwhelmed about all the things around the house I needed to do, I stumbled across a great blog post that really spoke to me (because catching up on blog reading is the thing to do when no one has clean underwear). Her feelings about Christmas - honey, I’m all there. Ahem . . . ‘course we still have an Easter basket and a bag full of empty Easter eggs cluttering the countertop.

So what is my problem? If it feels so good to get rid of the clutter, why do I have so much of it!????? The problem lies in that few Read the rest of this entry »

Summer boredom busters . . . well . . . . our favorite is the waterpark. The best part is, I have my mom give us all season passes as a Christmas present - mind you it’s not very exciting to open (unless you’re the one who has to find a home for all the new goodies delivered on Christmas Day), but an awesome gift come the 90^o mark!

So plan ahead and ask for waterpark passes so you can splash down all summer when everyone is bored. Read my original waterpark post for tips on how we manage the waterpark with 4 kids, and read on for more summer boredom busters:

1) You just gotta have a Wii - wii love the Wii Sports, Wii Play, and Wii Fit! Great during a sudden afternoon thunderstorm or when it’s just too stinkin’ hot. But THIS is the game going on my Christmas list this year!

2) We plant things in the garden - it provides ongoing entertainment (weeding, watering, harvesting, and finding creative ways to keep the critters away from your crops). We’re currently anticipating blueberries . . .

3) I take the badminton set and put it up in the backyard. A little extra physical activity usually ensures good naps!

4) This year we’re heading to the bowling alley more often - they have a great deal during the summer you’ll definitely want to check out!

5) Wash the car - a little extra water play that makes the car look good is a definite win-win in my book! You can even wash the dog (which are known to turn in to automatic sprinklers :-)).

6) We participate in the library summer reading programs - every day during quiet time, I have the two oldest read while the two youngest nap. They record the books they’ve read and turn it in to the library to choose a prize.

Typically, my kids don’t complain to me too much about being bored. I think they know I’ll come up with something for them to do - like organize a bookshelf, scrub the baseboards, file paperwork, de-clutter a closet, or take a nap!

I remember a wise parent telling me when I began having children (and apparently couldn’t stop) not to eat the food left on the children’s plates . . . it adds up. This is so true! Yet, as I would push all the food off the plates, I would cringe seeing it all piled up in the bottom of the sink. What a waste!

With one child, it’s not so bad to eat their “leftovers” . . . but by the time I got to three kids, I was afraid that I’d be as big as the side of a barn just trying to keep from wasting food. I tried cutting back on my own meal so I could eat their remnants . . . still it was hard trying to balance what I ate with what I THOUGHT they would eat. Sometimes when they ate more than I expected, I just “fixed” my hunger with an extra bowl of ice cream (after they’d gone to bed, of course :-).

So, I was back to scraping food into the sink for the disposal to handle.  Then it hit me!  There was at LEAST another meal sitting there for someone (of course, it was a bit unappetizing there in the sink).  Instead of dumping this food in the sink, I put all the extra food into a divided Tupperware-style plate and put it in the fridge.  Now when the girls want PBJ’s, I just pop this one-person meal in the microwave (killing any little-people germs) and I’m set!

No wasted food, no extra wasteline, and one less PBJ sandwich I have to endure :-)  It works for me!